(Some) Drugs are Good: My Thoughts on Anxiety Meds

Drugs are good. 

Not the kinds of drugs you buy from the guy on the corner wearing the weed sweatshirt at two in the afternoon because you got peer pressured into it. The drugs I’m talking about are the ones that help the billions of chemicals in my brain level out so I can rationally decide if I should get Wendy’s or McDonald’s without having a panic attack.

If you haven’t guessed it already, I’m talking about anti-anxiety medication. 

I’ve been taking these “drugs” for a year now and I have never been so elated and full of joy. I now refer to the time in my life before the anxiety meds as “old Haley” and I am now the new and improved “Haley” who loves being social and enjoys being spontaneous, things that terrified me before. 

I am no longer stuck in the whirling world of my brain, that of which is being pulled in a million different directions by the constant anxieties and obsessive compulsions I must complete to get through my day.
Smiles for days. 

GAD, OCD, PTSD – all things I have been diagnosed with by a medical professional, which you should see if you are having any troubles. Seriously, I have white coat syndrome, A.K.A. hating the doctor’s office, but I went and to date it was the best decision I ever made. 

At one point in my life, I genuinely thought I was losing my mind and that was the moment everything changed – finally my doctor told me it was time to try medication.

I had tried therapy, meditation, yoga; all of which helped but did not aid me in becoming the person who I truly am. That person is a confident young woman with drive and passion and stubbornness that will probably get her in trouble but is actually a good quality now a day. Yes, I just complimented myself, that is something I never did before the days of taking a white pill every night before I go to bed.

I am not saying medication is the right route for everyone, it just was for me. Maybe after reading this maybe someone would be more open to the idea of even asking for help with anxiety or anything else you feel troubled about.

I am not going to sugar coat it, its terrifying asking for help. No matter how open and willing people are to help you sometimes it is just too scary to be that vulnerable. I get it, I understand that fear and I have felt it many times. 

The only thing I will say to help anyone facing this is: sometimes taking a risk is your only choice. I am incredibly indecisive and went back and forth about the decision to start taking anti-anxiety medication, which I wasn’t too keen on, but I thank god I did it.

Looking back at the last year, my life has been changed by these drugs I take every night to alter the chemicals in my brain. That is a reason a lot of people will not take them, and that’s understandable. 

Sometimes though, your chemicals are already out of whack and you need some help to be healthy and eventually happy. I no longer am ashamed of my mental illnesses, I’m me and that is perfectly okay.

I, for sure, have never had such pride in myself for the decisions I’ve made throughout the past year of my life. It turned out to be the best year of my life and it’s been filled with friends, family, laughter, tears and plenty of embarrassing Snapchat stories but I loved every second of it.

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